Have you ever had that feeling that you can’t connect with the people around you? Or like you’re invisible? Or like you’re a stranger to your own world?

Maybe it’s because I am still swimming in post-medicated stupor. Maybe it’s because I am still sick. Maybe maybe maybe.

But, today is one of those days for me.

Stepped into the office, walked quietly to my seat. Sat down and started typing away.

The only noise I made was when I sprung into my boss’ office to bai nian >.<

After that, when I went for the video-shoot, I couldn’t get into the action. Just stood there at the side and took some photos before quietly making my exit. I just couldn’t get into the hype. I didn’t want to butt in.

Then, back to the office. Had a tiny discussion with the boss (well, technically, everyone is my boss in my unit ) before helping to set up. Nice intern boy came to help but both of us didn’t attempt to make conversation.

Back to the office again. Didn’t take up the offer to sit in during the sharing. Didn’t offer to help take photos. Just…I guess drifting is a good word.

Then stoned over lunch while everyone was chit-chatting. Lucky Joan was stoning with me as well. Back to the office and…I can’t really remember what happened.

But I didn’t “eavesdrop” on conversations. I am hearing things but I refuse to laugh along or jump into the conversation. Just concentrated on clearing my 4-day old email and catching up on stuff.

When it came for time to go home, I happened to leave at the same time as my other 2 colleagues. Even then, I didn’t talk to them much. They talked their own stuff while I click on my phone. Then again, those 2 colleagues are like BFF and they havent seen each other in a while so of course they have a lot to talk about. Just happen that it suits my mood today.

And I drifted back home. Dinner was quiet. When the family got into a discussion about the 9pm show, I didnt step in to give my opinions. I held back. Listened to my sister rant about work and I didnt bother to step in as well.

Now, here I am.

Really. Today was just weird. Like I’m a stranger to my own world. Like I am in a stupor. Or maybe, the world (and everyone @ work) is just rejecting me because I did something wrong.

Whatever it is, I am going to carry on this weird feeling over the weekend. Cash it in and cozy up with a book.

Option A: March on to Intermediate Korean!

Yes, I have completed 6 levels of Beginner Korean @ NUS Extension! Surprise surprise. There I was talking about giving up at Level 2 but in the end, I trudged all the way through. Partly thanks to wonderful classmates like Yiqi, Soek Mui and Lara (:

Now, I can’t say that I am an expert or I can fully understand Korean. I’m far from that. I’m also the weakest in my Level 6 class! But I can read Korean and understand (but very slowly) some basic Korean. I can ask for directions but I might not necessary understand the reply (still confused with the left, right, up, front, above etc). Hahaha!

So, should I continue to Intermediate Korean? That’s another 6 levels!

Option B: Pick up another language.

While my love for Korean has not dwindled, I thought it might be nice if I take a break from it. You know, go to the other side to see if the grass is really greener or what not.

I contemplated taking up French but seems like NUS Extension don’t offer French classes. There’s always Italian but other than working for an Italian boss @ Perlini’s Silver, I don’t exactly know how Italian sound like.

I did contemplate taking up Malay especially after my one day trip to Head Office last Thursday. If not for Hasbullah and Jamilah, we might not have made it in time for the flight back. Plus, the company might be willing to sponsor my course!

What do you think?

Option C: Pick up a musical instrument.

I think I am not very musically talented or inclined. I tried learning piano from the sister when I was young but gave up after realising that my fingers have to be stuck to certain keys. I did try to pick up guitar in Secondary 2 during music class. But I was hopeless. Everyone will be happily playing along and I will have my fingers ready at the last cord and play it Hehehe!

But I think I am ready to attempt again! I mean, it’s fun to challenge myself once in a while no? (:

I was thinking of picking up guitar. Relatively cheap instrument to acquire. Which means I can practice at home.

OR I was thinking of drums or gu zheng. But these instruments are expensive! Which means I can’t buy to practice at home.

So how now, brown cow?

Option D: Shut up and drive!

I’ve always said, “I will only pick up driving when I am able to afford a car!”

No, I still can’t afford a car but seeing how renting a car might be more convenient for family outings in the future, I thought it’s about time I pick up driving.

Yes, my dad knows how to drive but he’s old. Yes, my sister knows how to drive but the family is quite jittery about her driving skills.

While cabs are another option, I have had enough of cabs not appearing even though you have pre-booked them. Seriously?

So, maybe?

–

While I gave up learning “The Boys” halfway (the timing was off and there’s just too many breaks in-between lessons), I will still be taking up dance classes. I think.

Exploring the possibility of taking up private lessons. Hopefully that will happen. Cause I kind of enjoy learning K-Pop dance (:

Anyways, let me know! What should I do this year? Option A? Option A and B? Help?

With that said, I fell sick over CNY. Hahahah! Was THIS close to losing my voice too! Lucky I went to the doctor before that happened *phew* 53 bucks for consultation + 40 bucks for meds. Half of my hongbao money flew away -.-

Anyways, likey my cheongsam dress. Thanks for the recommendation, ber!

with the sister and cousins (excuse the oily face).

I think some things in me are slowly changing and I didn’t realised it until scarecrow made a certain comment on Friday.

I don’t exactly know how to put it but to make things simple, I guess…My walls are coming down. I’m no longer as defensive as I used to be.

But while the walls are softening, there’s also a little war waging inside. The reluctance.

Nah, won’t go into details. Head is feeling a little giddy. Going to rest.

HAPPY CNY, FOLKS!