dancing in the streets.

ever since that SIA Oktoberfest event, I feel like dancing. it doesn’t help that my entire body was aching. when that happens, i always want to cuddle up and then move some more.

so after a great session of mdealing and falling asleep on the train home, i plugged in my itouch and blasted the music. hoping that it will give me some energy to push me home.

and it did more than that.

the streets were relatively quiet. one or two cars will pass by. deyi was empty, so was the basketball court.

when “Get on the Floor” from FAME OST came on, i started dancing. it started with a little skipping. but as the music got louder, it got more than that.

when i reached my block, i almost didnt want to go home ūüėõ

one word: SHIOK.

i dont need you to let go. i can have fun by myself.

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burden off my shoulders.

i finally handed it in. i don’t know if it’s a wise decision or not, but at least i am moving and not stepping/dancing in the same square.

and i guess because of the decision, all the exhaustion is now rushing in.

know how it felt when your exams end? how when you are mugging, you don’t exactly feel tired? but when it ends, *BOOM* exhaustion floods in and you can sleep for hours.

it’s that feeling.

my entire body aches. my eyes are constantly tired. falling asleep during lunch for the past 2 days.

bad time to have insomnia really. HAHA.

do your research.

i dont mean to diss these guys. but some of them really…*speechless*

So while being bored to death by “500 days of summer”, I decided to check my mail and saw the following msg –

Shannon had introduce ur shootings… i found it is good shootd…
so can i add u in face book to see more on ur shooting !!!

later
John

First reaction (and I probably displayed the face I make when I see things I cannot believe) was, “I have a friend called Shannon?!” Thinking that maybe I really have a friend by that name, I went to check the guy’s friend request to see if we have any friends in common.

And guess what? We have ZERO friends in common. DUH.

A few things to learn about lying and probably marketing(?) from here.

a) If you don’t know, shut up.

If you don’t know me, there’s a higher probability of me adding you. Cause I might think that you are a friend of a friend and I have probably forgotten about you.

But by emailing me and telling me that my “friend” recommended me to you, you are bringing attention to the fact that you don’t know me and is lying.

b) do your research!

If you want to lie, at least do it properly. Click “See All” and pick some random names from the list lah! If you are lucky, you might pick someone that I am not familiar with, and I will be too paiseh to ask THEN I might add you.

Like hello? At least make sure there’s some truth to your lie. puh-lease.

c) English English English

My ang-moh not that strong. But seriously, wth is “shootings”? And wth is “shootd”. Excuse me, no such word as shooted. Bloody hell.

But I guess I should give him credits for finding out that I like photography. Then again, it might be a lucky guess cause I am holding on to my D300 in my profile pictures.

Anyways, my reply to him?

thank you for your effort to try and make up a lie to know me.

but no thanks. btw, i have no friends called shannon.

Should I put a screenshot here? HMM.

about me(:

Just some random facts about me that I think I need to state/clarify (:

1. I make fun of myself

Like what my FB status said last night. Sometimes, I say and do things on purpose to make people laugh. I know it will make me look stupid. But if the mood is lightened up, if people are happy then I really don’t mind that the joke is on me. I like to make people happy(:

But please, do not mistake that for stupidity. Some of you might think that I am actually stupid or bimbotic. While I may be those once in a while (who is not?), I am definitely not those all the time. Therefore, sometimes, I see no need to censor myself.

2. I do sweet things for friends.

I think this is a fact that everyone in Deyi knows. I like to do random stuff for friends and I take care of them like I am their nanny. If they have sore throat, I will throw lozenges at them. If they are sad, I will be there to offer hugs. I will go out of my way to help them.

This extends to classmates, family, colleagues and teachers.

This ‘personality’ of mine is just ingrained. It really doesn’t matter that peopel doesn’t appreciate. I just do it because I like it and I know that there’s a small probabilty that those people will actually be happy (: I like to keep my friends happy(:

However, sometimes, people mistake these small gestures of mine as me liking the person. As in like-LIKE. Please do not make that mistakes. Don’t feel threaten by it. I just do it, because I think it’s nice. I would love it if someone do the same for me when I am in the situation. And hence, I do it for the person.

It’s not because I am in love with them or anything.

3. A crybaby never runs out of tears

My nickname when I was young was crybaby. I cry over and about almost everything. HAHAHA! And I think even now, 22 years later, I am still the same.¬† I cry when I am upset or when I can’t figure things out. Just that I don’t necessarily do it publicly these days.

I just like to cry. Sometimes after crying, I will feel puzzled and go, “What the hell was that for?” but it sorta makes me feel better? Kinda.

But when I cry, it doesn’t necessarily mean that I am sad. I just want to let things out and hopefully some of the underlying issues will solve itself or reveal itself. I am still normal. The chirpy girl that I am.

TK said, “..I don’t get it. You sound so emo but when I see you, you look alright.” Yups.

sleeping disorder?

Some time in early September, I started having the inability to stay asleep. The nightly cycle is that I will fall asleep after tossing and turning in bed for 10-15minutes, fall asleep for exactly 1.5hours and then *zoom* I am wide awake. My eyes will open suddenly and that’s it. That’s about all the sleep I will get.

I will try to fall back asleep but I can’t. 15minutes nap. Closing the eyes and then waking up 15-30minutes later. Repeat the cycle until my alarm goes off and it’s time for me to go to work. I simply couldn’t sleep. And no, I was not thinking about things. The mind was surprisingly blank.

The same thing happens on weekend. The funny thing was, despite the lack of sleep, I was not tired.

Then somewhere around end September, I started falling asleep again. I think it was the day when E02 started. That night, I fell asleep for like 4 hrs? Waking up 1.5 hours before my alarm. Not enough but it was good enough. And somewhere last week (or 2-3 weeks ago), I fell into deep REM sleep. I dreamt! I couldn’t remember what I dreamt about but I dreamt. For like 5 minutes before my alarm went off.

I thought everything was okay, but WRONG. Things started going downhill again.

Starting from last Thursday, I started waking up earlier and earlier. Cannot fall back asleep, just tossing and turning. And last night, it got REAL bad. I went to bed at 2.15am? And around 3.20am, I woke up. Couldn’t fall back asleep again.

I thought it was because it was warm, but changing to shorts and turning up the fan didn’t help. I slept in all kinds of awkward position but no use. I think I tossed and turned for a good hour or two. Almost ran out to my parents’ room to call for help. But around 4.30am, my body decided to sleep while my mind continued to run amok. Conjuring up images, thoughts and stuff. Tried to “wipe” them away but they will keep coming back.

I woke up at 6.20am, decided to have breakfast before heading back to bed. I was exhausted and my mood was bad.  Had a small cup of milk, climbed back into bed and set my alarm to ring at 8.30am (knowing that I will be cabbing to work).

I cried abit cause being tired was scary. And then continued to toss and turn till like 7.20am before I fell asleep. I even dreamt! But at around 8.20am, I jerked awake. My heart started pounding really quickly like it was about to jump out. It’s as if something scare me really badly. I had to control my breathing before it slowed down.

By that time, I had to get out of bed. But my body is exhausted. I am aching everywhere. Neck, shoulders, legs and everywhere that has muscles. My eyes are tired. My mood is not that fantastic. I don’t feel like talking. Or being close to another human being. I just want to be left alone.

Sigh. Now, I am afraid. Afraid of going to sleep tonight :S

Portrait Class and Lesson Learnt(:

Had portraiture class yesterday with the rest of E02 (: Pretty fun!

Favorite shot –

(:

(:

Not as brave as the laoshi or Melvyn, so I went out to the balcony and sat on the balcony ledge instead. And I quite like this shot (: Especially the background.

Someone suggested that I turned the following shot in B&W (hopefully it’s the correct one) –

black & white.

black & white.

Probably more tinkering needs to be done though. But yups!

Lesson Learnt

While going through my photos, you will see that my focus is a bit koyak (that seems to be my favorite word of the month). It is either on the skirt, on the nails or everywhere else BUT the face!

wrong wrong wrong. haiyo!

wrong wrong wrong. haiyo!

Have checked that my camera was not in continuous mode so I have 2 explanations –

1. As I use my left eye (even though i am a right-hander) to look through the viewfinder, my forehead presses again the button and hence shifting my focus box to jump. KNS! Must lock it in the future.

2. (And this is probably the MAIN result) I got too distracted and excited by all the buzz and fuzz around me that I sort of anyhow focus. I didn’t want to lose the moment! So I just made sure that I am focusing somewhere and then *SNAP* GAH!

So, note to self. Calm down and concentrate(:

Another thing is…major FAIL. ¬†I love bokeh. bokeh bokeh bokeh! So when I am using my 50mm, I like to push my¬†aperture¬†DOWN to F1.8. But the thing is, when I am shooting something that doesn’t need a bokeh, I forgot to change the aperture! So my focus was kinda thin. Yups. This can be chucked to the easily excitable factor too.

SO YES! I WILL LEARN TO CALM DOWN! *ohmmmm*