cannot let go. i rarely exist in just the moment. i need to control things. when nothing is around for that, i control my thoughts/actions/feelings.
somehow. when things are going greatly, i fear for the day when it all comes crashing down. i may even bring myself, teach myself to bring it down. to believe that it is going down.
the null period.
i think i got better. but then again, i am so afraid of losing control again.
can i don’t be close to you then?