After finishing bathing, I was doing my usual routine of face and hair care. The entire family was already sleeping. It was quiet, not even the sound of cars on the road.
And just out of blue, I sat down on my bed and said to myself,”..I feel like I am losing myself..” Just like that.
I really think I am. I don’t have enough me time. Like I am losing control over what I do, what I say. In a way, you can say that I am in survival. Or hyper survival mode if you must.
Everything is on auto-run. I am slightly louder and less careful with what I say. I start to get over friendly with people. Crossing the boundaries even.
At the end of the day, I just collapse and sleep. No reviewing of what happened that day or actually, I don’t even have much memory of what happened that day.
URGH. I hate this feeling.
In a way, I am looking forward to my wisdom tooth extraction. Imagine. FIVE DAYS of staying at home. Of holing up in my room. All about me!
But first, let’s me get pass the next 13days. Sigh.