the hollow.

Maybe it’s the new laptop that’s making me blog almost everyday. Or maybe it’s just me. Heh.

Have you ever had that feeling that you can’t connect with the people around you? Or like you’re invisible? Or like you’re a stranger to your own world?

Maybe it’s because I am still swimming in post-medicated stupor. Maybe it’s because I am still sick. Maybe maybe maybe.

But, today is one of those days for me.

Stepped into the office, walked quietly to my seat. Sat down and started typing away.

The only noise I made was when I sprung into my boss’ office to bai nian >.<

After that, when I went for the video-shoot, I couldn’t get into the action. Just stood there at the side and took some photos before quietly making my exit. I just couldn’t get into the hype. I didn’t want to butt in.

Then, back to the office. Had a tiny discussion with the boss (well, technically, everyone is my boss in my unit :P) before helping to set up. Nice intern boy came to help but both of us didn’t attempt to make conversation.

Back to the office again. Didn’t take up the offer to sit in during the sharing. Didn’t offer to help take photos. Just…I guess drifting is a good word.

Then stoned over lunch while everyone was chit-chatting. Lucky Joan was stoning with me as well. Back to the office and…I can’t really remember what happened.

But I didn’t “eavesdrop” on conversations. I am hearing things but I refuse to laugh along or jump into the conversation. Just concentrated on clearing my 4-day old email and catching up on stuff.

When it came for time to go home, I happened to leave at the same time as my other 2 colleagues. Even then, I didn’t talk to them much. They talked their own stuff while I click on my phone. Then again, those 2 colleagues are like BFF and they havent seen each other in a while so of course they have a lot to talk about. Just happen that it suits my mood today.

And I drifted back home. Dinner was quiet. When the family got into a discussion about the 9pm show, I didnt step in to give my opinions. I held back. Listened to my sister rant about work and I didnt bother to step in as well.

Now, here I am.

Really. Today was just weird. Like I’m a stranger to my own world. Like I am in a stupor. Or maybe, the world (and everyone @ work) is just rejecting me because I did something wrong.

Whatever it is, I am going to carry on this weird feeling over the weekend. Cash it in and cozy up with a book.


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