nightmares.

Nothing new if you are on my Facebook.

I have been haunted by nightmares since before my trip to Korea. I can’t remember which came first. The nightmares or the sliding of the mood.

But these days, the moment I sleep and fall into REM sleep, I will start having nightmares. I can’t quite remember what they are about or who are in them. But I will wake up disturbed. Some nights, I will even force myself to stay awake to “save” the people in the nightmares. I didn’t want anything bad to happen to them.

The only way to stop these nightmares was to make myself so tired that I will conk out. But the problem is, without REM sleep, I get more and more exhausted as the days go on.

Even during my trip to Korea, I was still having them. Well, for the first few days, I wasn’t because my body was still adjusting to the new environment. I could barely sleep for more than 1.5hours without waking up. That kinda eliminated the possibility of nightmares. But towards the end of the trip, I started falling asleep again and that’s when the nightmares came again.

The first few days back in Singapore, the nightmares were lingering in my sleep. They don’t play out but they are there. And Saturday…I finally slept for 8 hours. But halfway through that 8 hours, I started having nightmares of blood and Willy Wonka’s factory. I woke up and fought to stay awake. And I didn’t fall asleep again. When I went back for a nap, I started having nightmares again. This time, I sweated and was thrashing around in bed. Sigh.

Initially, I thought travelling will eliminate the nightmares. But it didn’t. Just like how travelling didn’t elevate my mood. Like how it didn’t remove the burnt out feeling.

I don’t know what is haunting me or causing these nightmares. But I am getting weary of sleeping. Oh, the irony.

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