i’m not the parent in this house.

You might have seen this rant before on my Facebook.

But somewhere in mid-May, I was resting in front of the TV after a hard day at work when my dad came to me and told me that my sister has once again made travel plans without discussing with us them. Apparently she is going to Indonesia for charity work with her church and she had already bought the tickets. The father unit then proceeded to nag and rant about a) the sister’s behaviour and b) how dangerous it was for her to go to a Muslim school to teach Christian songs.

He said he is asking for my support in NOT allowing the sister to go. I agreed because I disagree with the way the sister did things. Should have discussed with us before buying the tickets. She has basically left us them with no choice but to agree. So yes after about 30-45minutes of ranting and nagging, the dad went off to have dinner.

At about 11.30pm the same night, the sister called and asked the dad if she can go. The dad was panicking because he didn’t have the guts to say no to her. I was still nuar-ing in front of the TV. The dad saw that and kept motioning for me to answer the phone. HE WANTED ME TO TELL MY SISTER NO. I refused to go because HE IS THE PARENT! I am just supposed to support him, not help him deliver the message. Not be the bad guy.

Guess what? After 3 minutes, I heard my dad telling the sister, “Okay lor. If you want to, just go.” At which point, I was furious. After all that nagging, you give in because you were too chicken? When my sister came home that night, I told her, “Your pattern never change. Still as irresponsible as before.” before slamming my room door. I didn’t talk to her for a week after that.

The topic of the Indonesia was taboo for the rest of the week. After talking to my colleague, I realised it really doesn’t concern me. Why do I have to be angry about my sister being irresponsible? As long as I don’t have to clean up her shit, it’s technically none of my business. It was with a “I-told-you-so” that I started talking to the sister again. WRONG MOVE.

The father seems to think that because I am talking to the sister again means that I will once again be responsible and take the necessary details from the sister. Seriously? Is he the parent or am I the parent? He started nagging me about the dangers of my sister’s trip again. I don’t know why he nags at me and not the sister. And why he pretends he is supportive of her trip in front of her.

The best part is…He started asking me about the details of my sister’s trip. WHAT?!

Okay, the sister is not like me who will voluntarily offer information to the parents and call home. So…as the parent, shouldn’t you ask her instead? Why are you asking me? YOU ARE THE ONE WHO GAVE HER YOUR BLESSINGS FOR THE TRIP. YOU be responsible for the decision (of agreeing) then. Every morning for the past week, I will tell my dad that he will have to start asking my sister for details about her trip cos I won’t be doing that.

Apparently, he ignored that.

The sister is coming home today. So, in the morning, when I was barely awake, the first thing that my mum asked me was, “What time is your sister coming back?” I told her I will check later since the details are in the sister’s laptop. An hour later, my father purposely shouted very loudly, “WHAT TIME IS DA XIAO JIE COMING BACK?” cos he hoped that I will hear it and be moved into action. I pretend that I didn’t hear him and went back to sleep.

Now, you might ask why did I say my father did it on purpose? Well…He has been speaking softly the whole morning and it is just out of character for him to speak so loudly especially when he knows I am enjoying my me-time in my room.

ANYWAY! When I woke up for food (cant be called lunch cos it’s 5pm), guess what’s the first thing the father asked when he woke up from his nap and saw me?

“What time is your sister coming back? Has her flight landed?” He proceeded to look at me expectantly.


Pissed. To get him off my back, I told him the time and proceeded to say, “Look, dad. Stop bothering me. First, you are against her going and nagged at me about it for so long. Then you decide to let her go but still continue to nag at me. Now, you are bothering me about her flight again. Can I please remind you that I am NOT the one going on this trip? Why do I have to know everything? I told you to ask her already, didn’t I? If you want to let her go, then you should have jolly well got the details from her. Not expect me to do it.”

Anyway, I think the dad is pissed with me right now because of the comment. But I really dont care.

I think I am going to nag at the sister too when she comes back. I think her flight landed about 2.5 hour ago and she haven’t called home. She probably went to church after arriving. SHOULD HAVE AT LEAST CALLED AND SAVED ME THE AGONY.

Anyway, I have had enough. I am not the parent in this house.

I blame myself sometime, really. I have not taught my dad to be self-reliant and he is now too lazy and too afraid to be. Maybe I should try to be irresponsible once in a while. Buy a ticket to Korea and only tell them the day before I fly.


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