I don’t remember unemployment being so…tough.
I remembered staying up late, blogging, sleeping in and watching loads of videos. But this time, unemployment doesn’t seem to agree with me.
Maybe because I am used to the hustle and bustle of working life. Not used to having so much time on hand. Not used to having to watch my expenditure. And I think the thing that is bugging me the most is…not being able to contribute to the household. My parents are not getting any younger and suddenly having to throw the utilities bills back to them, cutting back on their allowance. It’s the toughest for me.
I can’t help but feel like a liability. Yes, for a person who pride herself for being the sensible one in the family, the inability to contribute is killing me.
And I think it’s starting to show in the way I behave. I am becoming more anal about stuff. Picking on them about the little things. Yes, I do the same thing when I was working but I was much more relaxed about it. Now, I will make sure they do what I say or I will nag and nag. Some of you may have seen the rants on Twitter and Facebook. Rants about the ants, the daily necessities running out and the works. And I am becoming a worry wart.
Basically, it’s the usual me but amplified T_T
Sometimes, I wonder what it would have been like if my one-month no-pay leave was approved and I didn’t have to quit to give myself that much needed break. To break out of the burnt out cycle. But yes, that chapter is closed. I walked away with a wonderful experience, made some awesome colleagues turned friends and many lessons learned (:
Of course, I am not complaining. Or regretting my decision. I’m not! This kind of break is hard to come by in adult life.
I am enjoying my me-time. Waking up in the morning, reading, watching tv, nap and then more reading. It’s nice (: I finally finished reading the books that I couldn’t finished when I was working. I am finally watching shows that I would have skipped otherwise. And….I AM WRITING AGAIN 😀 Not just here but the little stories I used to write in my ipod touch. Hehehe!
And I don’t know if it’s an illusion. But honestly, I am learning Korean better now. I have more patience to read a passage over and over again until I can understand the words. I no longer turn to Google Translate. I managed to read my reading assignment without having to translate anything *pats self on back*
I am looking to volunteer at places near my house. Perhaps tutoring for the low income families or something along the line (:
Just needed to get these thoughts off my mind. I have been feeling inadequate this past week and I hate that feeling. Writing this post is a way of helping me process my thoughts. I’m good! (:
Back to my books and shows 😀 Oh yes, job hunting too! (: