Devotion 26/6/2016

Sometimes, I find meaningful words/verses/phrases and I do a screenshot of them. But somehow, an idea struck me today and I thought, “Why not just do a weekly Sunday thing?” Just in case the phone dies and the screenshots disappeared *choy!*

School starts on Monday! I hope I won’t have to do any relief teaching on Monday though. I really want to help the kids get to know their new form teacher (: And of course, to chase for my holiday homework. Ahh…As much as I complain about them, I will miss them. Just like how I miss 2 Care 2015.

I signed my teaching bond today too! 1 year of NIE + 3 years of bond. Thankful for everyone who have helped me reached this point. Of course, thank you to God for guiding me through and giving me the strength to pull through, the courage to take that leap last year!

I still can’t hear in my left ear which is really irritating. Especially since I also have a flu now. Like seriously. Meh. My right ear has been popping the entire day. Hopefully it stays okay. Monday is the next visit to the doctor. Please let my left ear be un-blocked!

Lord, please shower me with your blessings, love and favours this coming week. Help me to continue to spread your love and positivity to everyone around me. Give me the strength and the energy to get through the week! Amen!

And with Him, we can break any bad habit or addiction, like overeating, substance abuse, poor time management, anger issues, you name it. Jesus is bigger than any problem you have. God, I know that I’m nothing without You, so I invite You into every area of my life. I’ll let You do the heavy lifting, following and trusting You every day. –  Joyce Meyer: Promises for Your Everyday Life

You are my shelter and my shield – I wait for your promise. – Pslams 119:114

Day by day and with each passing moment, strength I find to meet my trials. Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment, I’ve no cause for worry or for fear. Linda Sandell Berg – ODB, 20 June 2016

Give thanks to the Lord because he is good, because his faithful love endures forever. – 1 Chronicles 16:34

God, I want to honor You by taking care of my body and living a healthy life. I believe that I can make changes through Your power that is at work in me. –  Joyce Meyer: Promises for Your Everyday Life

God, thank You that You are love and that You love me so much. Help me to love others the way Jesus showed us so that the whole world will know I am Your child. – ODB, 21 June 2016

God, thank You for being a faithful, trustworthy source and providing all I need. No matter what happens, I rely on You and only You to meet my needs. –  Joyce Meyer: Promises for Your Everyday Life

Dear God, thank You for all that You have provided. You know what my needs are. Please reassure me of Your care and power. We can trust God to do what we cannot do. – ODB, 22 June 2016

Those who pursue righteousness and kindness will find life, righteousness, and honour. – Proverbs 21:21

God, my happiness should only rely on You, not other people and situations. Today, I get rid of my unrealistic expectations and take responsibility for my own happiness. –  Joyce Meyer: Promises for Your Everyday Life

Lord Jesus, I want to serve You in everything I do. Help me, as I begin each day, to remember this. – ODB, 23 June 2016

The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. – Hebrews 13:6

Lord, thank You for the promise that You will never leave me. May the reality of Your constant supporting presence fill my heart with comfort, confidence and courage. There is a peace in the presence of God. – ODB, 24 June 2016

My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus; blood and righteousness; I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus’ name. On Christ, the solid rock, I stand – all other ground is sinking sand. Edward Mote – ODB, 25 June 2016

God, I’ve been abused and misused, but I won’t let my past affect my future. Overwhelm me with Your love today so that I can experience Your freedom from abuse. – Joyce Meyer: Promises for Your Everyday Life

Lord Jesus, I want to serve You in everything I do. Help me, as I begin each day, to remember this. – ODB, 23 June 2016

The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. – Hebrews 13:6

Amen!

十年…你还好吗? If only I could.

It’s been a while since a local drama has…for a lack of better words, depth. More often than not, local dramas are loud, noisy and pretty standard. But the current Ch8 9pm drama, 十年…你还好吗? got me thinking.

In a nutshell, the story follows 2 female characters who had the chance to travel back 10 years in time to change their ‘fate’. They went back with their full memory, just that they are in a younger version of themselves (somehow this mattered to my brother whom I was explaining the story to).

If I could go back…

Ten years ago, I was 19. Just about to enter university and just about to put on my braces. That will be something like this.

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2006 – Council Gathering with Ling and Gayabird

When I first thought about the question, my first reaction was, “Nah. There’s nothing I want to change from my past.” That still kinda stand. Why?

Because (and my brother agrees with me), even if I could change certain things, the ending might be same but the journey might be even worse (than it has been)? Or the ending might be different but the people around will not be?

Let me explain. For example, it took me 6 years before I finally ended up teaching. Over the 6 years, the pain, the politics, the stress, the self-doubt that I went through was tough. Now that I am in teaching, I am sure that this what I want. Many of you can see that I am happier than I have been in the past 2-3 years.

If I could go back 10 years, perhaps I can just jump straight into teaching. Maybe I won’t have to suffer through all the rubbish that I went through. But things are never that simple right? I believe that if I had gone straight into teaching, I will still go through the same rubbish. Yes, I will be happier in the beginning but maybe I would have dropped out after a few years and went into the private industry? Or I would have gone through the same rubbish during my teaching career and I will end up hating teaching?

I truly believe that there is a certain amount of pain/happiness/sadness that we all have to go through in our lifetime. They help us to grow, help us to improve. Even if we were to change certain things so as to avoid them, they will find us in the end in a different form or way.

There’s something I do want to change…

I had a really bad relationship when I was around 20/21. It changed me as a person. I am not going to lie. I almost went into depression. It turned me into someone who is more reclusive and less open to trying new things. It dimmed the light in me. It brought on the OCD behaviours that I still cling to so tightly. It made me wary of relationships. It broke me.

我们用青春去交换疯狂 让日子难忘…

But do I want to change it? No and yes.

No. I do not want to change it for me. Because the experience made me stronger. The same way it broke me, it also made me an easier person to live with (according to my brother). I realised who my real friends were.

Yes. I want to change it. Because during the relationship, I wasn’t the only one who got hurt. If I were to change it, I don’t want to go into that relationship. I would rather get into another one where I am the only one who got hurt.

Water under the bridge…

There’s really no point thinking about all this though. Because like the song of the drama says…原来简单 是最美的时光.  We all grow because of our experiences and we are better because of it. Onwards to a better future! (:

Here’s another picture of myself from 2007. Yes, I used to wear make-up.

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By the way, the song of the show is awesome.

Devotion 12/6/2016

Sometimes, I find meaningful words/verses/phrases and I do a screenshot of them. But somehow, an idea struck me today and I thought, “Why not just do a weekly Sunday thing?” Just in case the phone dies and the screenshots disappeared *choy!*

That was first. First week of holiday is just over in a blink! I managed to kick myself out of bed to clean my room and change the bedsheets. Damn. The room IS dusty after 2 weeks. The room is much more cheery with the pink bedsheets (:

Going for my staycation tomorrow. I cancelled it and then decided to go again. Changed the hotel too. But I am worried about the brother. He is going through some rough times now and told me that the house feels too quiet 😦 Ohman. Sigh.

I. discovered. Netflix. OMG. I finished the first season of Suits in 2 days. Haha! But the movies there are quite old. I suspect I might end up watching Netflix throughout my staycation. NO! I must read the two books I bought! MUST!

Thankful that the first week passed by quietly and restfully (: Lord, please continue to refresh my spirit and help me find rest in You. Let this coming week be grace-filled and full of blessings for my family and I. Amen!

Holy Spirit, help me take an inventory of my life and cut out pointless activity. I don’t want to be too busy. Show me how to live a more fruitful life. – Joyce Meyer: Promises for Your Everyday Life

Remember: Dreams come true with many cares, and the voice of fools with many words. – Ecclesiastes 5:3

Holy Spirit, search my heart and expose my true motives and intentions today. If they are not good in any area, point them out to me and help me to change. – Joyce Meyer: Promises for Your Everyday Life

Dear Jesus, help me to keep my eyes on You, whether I face difficulty in life or death. Let me find security and peace in You. – ODB, 8 June 2016

Teach me, Lord, to see people as You do – hearing Your image, being worthy of Your love, and needing Your care. May Your great love find in my heart a vessel through which that love can be displayed. Joy comes from putting another’s needs ahead of our own. – ODB, 9 June 2016

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. – Philippians 2:3-4

God, even when the challenge before me seem impossible, I know that I can tackle them one day at a time because You are with me. I receive Your strength today. – Joyce Meyer: Promises for Your Everyday Life

I’ve commanded you to be brave and strong, haven’t I? Don’t be alarmed or terrified, because the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. – Joshua 1:9

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness doesn’t extinguish the light. – John 1:5

Lord, I commit to a lifestyle of good physical health. Help me to make good choices that will continually improve my health. – Joyce Meyer: Promises for Your Everyday Life

This is my prayer: that your love might become even more and more rich with knowledge and all kinds of insight. I pray this so that you will be able to decide what really matters and so you will be sincere and blameless on the day of the Christ. – Philippians 1:9-10

…If you take one step forward in the wrong direction, He will let you know before you go too far. He sees the end from the begiinging. He knows what makes sense for your life and He can make it happen. God, I trust You to open the right doors in my life and shut the wrong ones. Even when I don’t know what to do, I have faith that I can hear from You and follow Your will. – Joyce Meyer: Promises for Your Everyday Life

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. – Philippians 2:3-4

Amen.

Devotion 5/6/2016

Sometimes, I find meaningful words/verses/phrases and I do a screenshot of them. But somehow, an idea struck me today and I thought, “Why not just do a weekly Sunday thing?” Just in case the phone dies and the screenshots disappeared *choy!*

School holidays have officially started. Yayy! I’m still undecided if I should go for a staycation but I know I need the alone time. Especially after what happened today.

I realised that I cannot go out with the parents and the sister. The parents alone, ok. The sister alone, ok. The parents + sister + brother, ok. Just not that parents + sister. It just brings back all the “bad blood”. They treat her like she’s still a kid. Can’t pinpoint exactly how but if you didn’t know that we are a family, you would think that I am out alone tonight. Oh, and I’m just the person who pays. The sister takes everything that I say to her as a criticism and she complains to the parents who..you know. She told me not to organise such outing if I don’t want to. Well, the parents missed her and she’s not coming home. What can I do? She kept saying how it’s a ‘blessed time spent today with the parents’. Well, come home more often, you hypocrite. Same shit, different day.

With that said, I am still sick 😦 I thought I was all better but the runny nose came back. And I have stomach flu too (I think). Meh. Can’t decide if I am going to clean my room tomorrow. Could help me get rid of these negativity (caused by the parents + sister) but I don’t feel good. Will see.

Lord, please take away these negativity. Give me the love, courage and will to get over this long-time issue. Please refresh my soul and help me have a peaceful heart and rest. Amen!

ODBHoly Spirit, connect me with the right friends who will help me follow You more. – Joyce Meyer: Promises for Your Everyday Life
(Because all that I have met are hypocrites.)

And let us consider each other carefully for the purpose of sparking love and good deeds. – Hebrews 10:24

God helps those who depends on Him. – ODB, 1 June 2016

Abba Father, I know that You will take care of me, Your beloved child. You alone can deliver me from all fear, so I run to Your open arms. – Joyce Meyer: Promises for Your Everyday Life

Lord, thank You that You do not grow weary. Give me the strength to face whatever situation I am in today. When life’s struggles make you weary, find strength in the Lord. – ODB, 3 June 2016

Lord, it often seems that our lives swing from drudgery to challenges we don’t want. Today, help us to see You in the midst of whatever faces us. Show us a small glimpse of the purpose and meaning You bring to everything. Even when everything seems meaningless, God still has a purpose for your life. – ODB, 4 June 2016

Lord, I just can’t sit back any longer, waiting for peace to materialise. I want to actively pursue it. Show me the way as I go after Your peace. – Joyce Meyer: Promises for Your Everyday Life

Abba Father, I know that You will take care of me, Your beloved child. You alone can deliver me from all fear, so I run to Your open arms. – Joyce Meyer: Promises for Your Everyday Life

Amen.