the thing about nightmares. 

I have been having nightmares every night. No, scrape that. Every time I fall asleep. I didn’t think much about them when they first started but after 2.5 weeks….

These nightmares. They aren’t really about ghosts, monsters, zombies, dinosaurs and etc not about things that I can rationalise away. They are about fear itself, being unable to help people in need, unable to save my family, general sense of dread, unable to have control over things, hurting pple, being betrayed etc These are things that can’t be rationalised away. It’s….bad.

It got to a point where I actually wake myself up the moment I start dreaming. These fears start seeping into my life too. 

But they seem to be toning down. The nightmares. I can sleep a little better these days. I don’t wake up drench in sweat. I don’t feel like I am drowning everytime I fall asleep.

Here’s to more good sleep! I need it if I want to survive my 16 weeks. 


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