Letter from 2015 (:

안녕!

그동안 잘 지냈어? 건강하기 지냈어? 행복하기?

Hello, 29th. How has Year 28 been? As always, here’s a quick recap of what happened in Year 27.

It’s been quite a year, hasn’t it? Unemployment, employed at a international company only to be ‘made use of’ but that was the ultimate push for you to join teaching (: TEACHING!! Remember how sweet your kids are? Swarming you in the morning, their constant, “Miss Wu, Miss Wu”. The appreciative parents. You’ve never felt quite so happy in a very long time. Remember? 

Year 28. I don’t quite know what to expect but God has a plan for me (: In my teaching, at home, with my friends. I never thought I will be saying that a few years back but God has a way of calling you back to Him.

So…how’s Year 28 been? I’m hope it’s been awesome! Otherwise, take a breath and remember how you feel now. And take a read at the message from Year 26. It’s been pretty cool (: A little stress and a little health scare. heh.

How’s 2RP? Did you end up being like a form teacher to them? I hope the kids are as sweet as P2Care. Are you in NIE now? Or has that been postponed to 2017? I sure hope you are still teaching, babe. 2RP has been fabulous! To have seen them grow and change in the 6 months I had with them has been nothing short of spectacular and wonder. Am in NIE now and as studying always do, my positivity is getting zipped out. But met some pretty good tut mates! Can’t wait to teach again (:

How’s Note 5? Surviving? iPod Touch? ASUS laptop? All alive and I hope they continue to . especially after the exploding Note 7 saga. not directly affected but still….

Have you gone back to Seoul? You were missing it so much. A home away from home. I hope you’ve been overseas at least once! Or a staycation at least. Still grounded 😦 but I went for a staycation in June ! junking up on cable TV. hehe.

How’s the family? Mum had shingles this year and is not feeling too good. It’s heartbreaking to see her like that. I hope everyone is okay and HEALTHY! Mum, Dad, Grams and the siblings! Family’s good (: 

Attached? Have you been meeting up with your friends? No and once every 6 mths or so. Haha. oh and some 烂桃花. eck.

I don’t know why I’m feeling like I will lose something in Year 28 as I’m writing this. It’s just me being paranoid. God will guide you through. You didn’t  (:

Year 29. My goodness. The big 3-0 next year. How did that happen?

Anyhoos! Remember to thank God for bringing you through another year. Hopefully Year 28 has been grace-filled, favour-filled and blessed (: And here’s hoping Year 29 is as well!

Cheers, 
Huishan

十年…你还好吗? If only I could.

It’s been a while since a local drama has…for a lack of better words, depth. More often than not, local dramas are loud, noisy and pretty standard. But the current Ch8 9pm drama, 十年…你还好吗? got me thinking.

In a nutshell, the story follows 2 female characters who had the chance to travel back 10 years in time to change their ‘fate’. They went back with their full memory, just that they are in a younger version of themselves (somehow this mattered to my brother whom I was explaining the story to).

If I could go back…

Ten years ago, I was 19. Just about to enter university and just about to put on my braces. That will be something like this.

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2006 – Council Gathering with Ling and Gayabird

When I first thought about the question, my first reaction was, “Nah. There’s nothing I want to change from my past.” That still kinda stand. Why?

Because (and my brother agrees with me), even if I could change certain things, the ending might be same but the journey might be even worse (than it has been)? Or the ending might be different but the people around will not be?

Let me explain. For example, it took me 6 years before I finally ended up teaching. Over the 6 years, the pain, the politics, the stress, the self-doubt that I went through was tough. Now that I am in teaching, I am sure that this what I want. Many of you can see that I am happier than I have been in the past 2-3 years.

If I could go back 10 years, perhaps I can just jump straight into teaching. Maybe I won’t have to suffer through all the rubbish that I went through. But things are never that simple right? I believe that if I had gone straight into teaching, I will still go through the same rubbish. Yes, I will be happier in the beginning but maybe I would have dropped out after a few years and went into the private industry? Or I would have gone through the same rubbish during my teaching career and I will end up hating teaching?

I truly believe that there is a certain amount of pain/happiness/sadness that we all have to go through in our lifetime. They help us to grow, help us to improve. Even if we were to change certain things so as to avoid them, they will find us in the end in a different form or way.

There’s something I do want to change…

I had a really bad relationship when I was around 20/21. It changed me as a person. I am not going to lie. I almost went into depression. It turned me into someone who is more reclusive and less open to trying new things. It dimmed the light in me. It brought on the OCD behaviours that I still cling to so tightly. It made me wary of relationships. It broke me.

我们用青春去交换疯狂 让日子难忘…

But do I want to change it? No and yes.

No. I do not want to change it for me. Because the experience made me stronger. The same way it broke me, it also made me an easier person to live with (according to my brother). I realised who my real friends were.

Yes. I want to change it. Because during the relationship, I wasn’t the only one who got hurt. If I were to change it, I don’t want to go into that relationship. I would rather get into another one where I am the only one who got hurt.

Water under the bridge…

There’s really no point thinking about all this though. Because like the song of the drama says…原来简单 是最美的时光.  We all grow because of our experiences and we are better because of it. Onwards to a better future! (:

Here’s another picture of myself from 2007. Yes, I used to wear make-up.

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By the way, the song of the show is awesome.

Letter from Year 26

안녕!

잘 지냈어? 이해 어때요? 난 지금 서울에 있어! 기억이 났어? ^^

Okay, that’s about as much Korean as I can think in right now. Tsktsk. But yes, hello from Korea! (: Remember how you extended your trip out of anger but in the end, this week has been one of the greatest so far? (:

Recap, recap! Year 27 started in a tiny room in Nine-Tree Hotel. But they upgraded you to a bigger one with an awesome view after your feedback. Had lunch and coffee with Chung and Natsuki! Remember the cake? Yums! And then you walked around Myeongdong all by yourself (: Enjoying the cold and churros! But clumsy clauds striked when you deleted all the photos of the Xmas lights -.-

How was Year 27? Went by in a zoom and it’s been quite a journey (:

If it hasn’t been too awesome, I want you to remember how thankful you are right now. For being able to come on this trip. For the friends in your life. For your family. Remember how the weather held up in Jeju? Or how it’s sunny on your birthday? Don’t fret. God has a plan for you(:

Did you take up the job that San introduced? Are you on your way to become a teacher now (like finally)? I’M A TEACHER NOW! Quite a story behind it which I will include in the letter to Year 29! ^^

Taken any more trips? Japan? Seoul? Grounded the entire year. I think I didn’t even head to Sentosa. ㅋㅋㅋ.

Have you cut out the unnecessary people in your life? 그새….아마?

Have you finished Level 3? Started Japanese? Completely stopped lessons. Didn’t quite like the teacher, no energy, no funds. Don’t think I will pick them up in the near future too 😦

Bought Note 4? iPhone clan now? I know I know, I ask the same thing every year! Samsung all the way, yo!

How’s the family? Grams? Mum? Dad? Ah Yong? Dajie? Mostly doing well. Dajie moved out though. And mum got shingles this week. Her mood is quite bad. Hopefully she feels better soon.

The lumps in your breast. Are they better now? Remember, trust in God! He will heal you (: Put your faith in Him first! Been ‘upgraded’ to annual instead of half-yearly visits. AMEN!

Attached? Met Siwon yet?! No and no. ㅋㅋㅋ

Quite curious how this year has been for you. I mean, Year 27 was so goal driven, so purpose-driven. Year 28 (woah. 28!) must be quite different without an ultimate goal in mind. Confused much? You’re talking about Year 26 and Year 27. I just turned 28 today!

Take it as a lapse year. 앞으로 chase after your other dreams! Like trip to US, Aussie. And the BIG ones like a house, letting the parents retire (: 알아 알아. Year 28, fighting too!

Approaching Year 28 with a bit of hope, abit of dread, a bit of fear. Ahhhhh….But if you are reading this…YOU MADE IT! (: Good job! 27. 27! haiyo.

Remember to thank God for guiding you through yet another year! Yes. It’s been a blessed and grace-filled year. Everything in His time (:

Year 28. SERIOUSLY?! AJA AJA!

Remember, Shan. All your tomorrow’s are in God’s Hands! Amen!

Love,
Huishan

Love, 
Huishan

I have posted this on Instagram and Facebook but I think I should put it here as well…

I love fishball beehoon (: I eat them when I can’t think of what to have (that’s like almost everyday). I can eat them almost everyday! Which I kinda did back in Maybank. The mix of ketchup + chilli is plain YUMS!

But I don’t like eating the fishball noodles bought at the market near my place. There’s shrimps (?) like spots that looks like dead insects’ body and the mix of chilli + ketchup is NEVER right. Well, that could be because my mum probably told them to leave out the chilli. whaaaatt.

I’m craving for them quite a bit these days. Haha! It’s always a fight between fishball beehoon or spicy nuggets. Yes, it’s that bad! You know how much I love my spicy nuggets ;p

So yes. #meepokpost

i’m not an easy kid to raise.

I don’t know why but while having dinner last night, I suddenly started truly appreciate how hard it was for my mum to bring me up.

I’m a picky eater. Everyone knows that. I don’t eat 10,001 things for various reasons – can’t stand the idea, too messy, don’t like the taste etc. But if you think I am picky now, you should get to know me when I was younger.

I think I was 4 or 5 when I decided to not eat meat. It started by refusing to eat char siew then when I saw the fish at the fish soup stall, I stopped eating all meat. Initially, my mum will coat it in loads of ketchup and I will try to swallow it. But I remember there’s this day when I threw a super huge tantrum that even my grandpa can’t calm me down.

I think my mum tried to reason with me and I told her, “It’s cruel. Imagine if you are a fish and happily swimming then you got caught and die. Or your family and friends get caught. It’s cruel.” I think that was my first memory of fearing for my family. And after that, my mum accepted the fact.

The family gathering that followed that tantrum was horrible. We went to a seafood restaurant, I think. Those with fishes displayed in the front. I was horrified. It was also the first time that I met my cousins after I stopped eating meat. I remember my mum whispering to my relatives and asking them to not ask me questions.

You would think that was it. But nope.

My sister choked on some vegetable and I totally removed that vegetable from my menu. I found a cockroach in my vegetables from the economy rice stall and I refused to eat vegetables unless it’s cooked by my mum (still true). I saw a documentary where people eat eggs with baby chick/duck inside and I stopped eating eggs. I stopped eating fishballs because I realised they are fish (slow, yes). I stopped eating “fu zok” cos I found insects inside. So many things to add to the list…

At one point, I think I didn’t eat anything except for tofu and mushroom. It’s really a miracle how my mum managed to feed me! She used to say that it’s a good thing that I didn’t grow sick of milk and tofu >.< For that, I’m really thankful to my mum (: It must be so tough and worrying. She must have wanted to give up and throw in the towel but she didn’t. She ‘invented’ so many new dishes for me ❤ Really thankful for my mummy (: Am going to talk to her about my picky habits later tonight so we can laugh about it. Hehe.

I’m picky but so much better now. Plus I can eat the same thing over and over and over again without getting bored. So, that’s a plus(:

So people, if you think your kid is a picky eater, just look at me and breathe a sigh of relief. FIGHTING!

i miss teaching.

Was clearing my stuff when I found test papers I printed for my 2 tuition kids last year (:

I remembered having a 4 hour tuition session with my P3 kid – Hannah before her mid-years. Because she was a non-native speaker, I was so worried for her. She has a great grasp of the Chinese language but when faced with a paper filled with Chinese characters, her concentration can be a bit short. Which is normal! Because if you ask me to do a paper filled with Korean characters, I switch off after about the first paragraph or so ;p

4 hours! I was worried about how we will get through the session without making her frustrated and grow tired of Chinese (which will be vvv bad for her paper the next day). So I brought along this –

eat in case of emergency(:

I have this box of chocolate from Jie En in my office for the longest time and I had the note stuck on it to remind myself and my boss/Jun who sat next to me to offer me one when I am particularly stress out. So I brought this box along with the note intact.

At the start of the session, I told Hannah, “We have a 4 hour session today *makes horrified face* but don’t worry, I have this.” And I took out the box and showed it to her. She started giggling and I continued in a serious tone, “Yes. When we are running low on energy, we will eat this.”

“So running low on energy is an emergency?”

“Don’t you think it is? We need energy to make sure we are prepared for the paper tmr!”

I told her where the chocolate came from and how my boss will give it to me when I am stress. And that caught her attention (: Cos if it’s just a normal box of chocolate, it’s not interesting. She has those in the fridge. But because there’s a story behind these chocolates, she believed in it.

So the session started and we did much better than before. SO PROUD OF HER! We did break into the emergency supply at the 3rd hour. Before I left, I gave her 2 more chocolates and told her to keep it, just in case.

I had to stop teaching her after about 3 months because time didn’t permit. But it was really a joy teaching her (: She was so full of imagination so for the difficult words, I just need to come up with a story for them and she will remember how to write them.

Ahhhh. If only I can teach again~

why i like taking half day off (:

I took half-day off today to accompany my mum for her doctor’s appointment today. It kinda reminded me why I like taking half-day offs or even a full day off “just to clean my room”. It’s much more than that.

Being the OCD freak that I am, I rarely spend time out in the living room on weekends, PH or if I take a full day off just because. All these means the time I spend with my parents and siblings brother is close to zero. Sometimes, when I wake up, my brother would have went out, the parents would have slept or went to one of their CC events.

So…This is what happened today.

I dropped by NTUC Xtra at AMK Hub and finally bought myself a new bolster (and restocked some essentials) (: with a direct bus to and from work, I rarely pass by Bishan or AMK MRT anymore = no NTUC.

When I came home, I was able to intercept the package (that my mum signed for me), unwrapped it and placed it in my brother’s room as a surprise for him. I bought him a Pusheen cushion since he loves cat so much and we can’t have pets. He didn’t react much cos he was stress about his upcoming papers but I saw him sayang-ing it when he walked into his room 😀

JIAYOU, BROTHER!

If I didn’t come home in time, he would have guessed what the package was and I wouldn’t be able to surprise him.

And what I love so much about taking half-day off is all the random conversations that I can have with my brother and mother!

If it was any normal day, I would be sulking on the sofa, exhausted from the day’s work. But because I took half a day off, my brother after see how huge his anitbiotic pill was, exclaimed in the most drama-mama voice, “OMG. SO BIG! HOW TO EAT!”

If it was any normal day, I would have ignored him but because I took half a day off, I went, “Where? Let me see.” and walk to the kitchen to see it.

The rest of the conversation-

me: * takes a look* it’s panadol cold/extra size leh! *facepalm*

brother: hoooow. hoowwww.

me: break it into half and eat.

brother: i dont like the rough edges.

me: soak it!

brother: IT WONT BREAK! *bang bang bang*

So drama this one ;p He can’t swallow pills, by the way. Neither can my sister. Me? Being the competitive one that I was, I learned how to when I was 9. HAHAHAHA!

And because I took half-day off, I was able to prevent my mum from cooking (: Because the brother and I are both sick, she wanted to cook for us but because I was around before she took the meat out for de-frosting, I managed to desuade her from cooking.

Then I switched on the TV and tempted her to sit in front of the TV. Within 30 mins, she fell asleep (: My mum has been having insomnia for the longest time. She sleeps less than 4 hours a day, works as a cleaner AND insist on cooking for us. SUPERWOMAN THIS ONE.

She tend to fall asleep more easily in front of the TV so if I am home early (and manage to desuade her to cook), I like to pretend I am watching the TV and get her to join me. More often than not, she will fall asleep for a good hour or two. So yayy!

Then when she woke up, we had a super weird conversation when my dad brought home the 囍饼 from my cousin –

Me: I must remember to tell my future husband that Hakka do 过大礼 too and must give hongbao to grams.

Mum: Please. You don’t even have a boyfriend yet. Grams so old already.

Me: You never know ok? Maybe I find a boyfriend at the end of 2015. Then get married in Dec 2016 leh.

Mum: Okok. Approved. That’s the best!

If I didn’t take half-day off, I will be sulking or asleep. This conversation wouldn’t have occurred.

So yes, I like taking half-day off or just taking the day off to clean my room (:

And all you married people with kids, don’t judge me for always wanting to go home early. Just because I don’t have kids like you do, doesn’t mean I don’t need family time. BLEH.