I gave Elmo away.

I’m sure all of us have this one thing that we refuse to throw away. Even if it’s spoilt, dirty and useless. Be it your first camera, your first playstation, your first discman.

For me, it’s my 12-year old Elmo. It’s super dusty and dirty. I don’t hug it anymore. Just place it on my table.

I have been debating for 3 years whether I should throw it away. An extremely hard decision because it holds many nice memories for me.

When I was 10 and the 1st generation of Tickle-Me-Elmo just came out, I wished that I had one. My cousins realised it and bought this super huge Elmo for me for Christmas! (:

For the first year or so, I will hug it every night. And as I grew up, I don’t hug it that often. But when I am down or sad, I will hug it and then just cry. Because it’s rather big, it feels like someone is hugging me. And it always make me feel better. Ohoh! And I will punch it when I am really really mad.

I brought Elmo to the first “Horror Night” organised by PSL in secondary school. And somehow, everyone started linking Elmo to me (: See Elmo, think of Huishan! So when I couldn’t make it for the second “Horror Night”, I sent Elmo over.

It was with me through many ups and downs. Saw me through 2 major renovation of my room. Sometimes, looking at it with its stupid mouth hanging over just makes me laugh.

Why do I want to throw it away since it holds so many nice memories, you may ask? Well, I don’t hug it anymore. It’s taking up space. And somehow I feel, I should stop holding on to past memories.

Which then brings me to another point. Call me superstitious! But I am also afraid that by throwing Elmo away, I will be throwing my happy memories away. It’s silly. But my life after secondary school ain’t exactly smooth. So what if I don’t have anymore lasting happy memories? Yeah.

But yeah. This year, I’ve finally decided to throw it away. I just…I don’t know. I miss waking up and seeing Elmo. But I’ll survive eh?

elmo and me (for the last time) (:

yes, it's camwhoring time! (:

my cleaner table top.

the left side of my table is clearer now.

Man, I got emo writing this post! *slaps self* Back to normal!!

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easier to be a bimbo.

It takes a long time to know me. Because it’s easier for me to fall back on being bimbotic.

I’m not saying that I am very smart or I have deep thoughts . But it takes a while for me to feel comfortable enough to talk to people normally. I like to observe people before discussing “serious” stuff with them. Before letting them into my “thoughts”.

That’s why I find it relatively easier to be bimbotic. It makes people laugh and well, I make new friends. Kinda.

So, it takes a little effort to know me. I guess. And it’s relatively easy for people to take my bimbotic-front as who I actually am. It hurts sometime.But its expected. So yeah.

Besides, I have to be serious and responsible at home, in school, for the family and for myself. That’s taking myself seriously too often. I’m tired.

you need to dig to know me.