the thing about nightmares. 

I have been having nightmares every night. No, scrape that. Every time I fall asleep. I didn’t think much about them when they first started but after 2.5 weeks….

These nightmares. They aren’t really about ghosts, monsters, zombies, dinosaurs and etc not about things that I can rationalise away. They are about fear itself, being unable to help people in need, unable to save my family, general sense of dread, unable to have control over things, hurting pple, being betrayed etc These are things that can’t be rationalised away. It’s….bad.

It got to a point where I actually wake myself up the moment I start dreaming. These fears start seeping into my life too. 

But they seem to be toning down. The nightmares. I can sleep a little better these days. I don’t wake up drench in sweat. I don’t feel like I am drowning everytime I fall asleep.

Here’s to more good sleep! I need it if I want to survive my 16 weeks. 

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Letter from 2015 (:

안녕!

그동안 잘 지냈어? 건강하기 지냈어? 행복하기?

Hello, 29th. How has Year 28 been? As always, here’s a quick recap of what happened in Year 27.

It’s been quite a year, hasn’t it? Unemployment, employed at a international company only to be ‘made use of’ but that was the ultimate push for you to join teaching (: TEACHING!! Remember how sweet your kids are? Swarming you in the morning, their constant, “Miss Wu, Miss Wu”. The appreciative parents. You’ve never felt quite so happy in a very long time. Remember? 

Year 28. I don’t quite know what to expect but God has a plan for me (: In my teaching, at home, with my friends. I never thought I will be saying that a few years back but God has a way of calling you back to Him.

So…how’s Year 28 been? I’m hope it’s been awesome! Otherwise, take a breath and remember how you feel now. And take a read at the message from Year 26. It’s been pretty cool (: A little stress and a little health scare. heh.

How’s 2RP? Did you end up being like a form teacher to them? I hope the kids are as sweet as P2Care. Are you in NIE now? Or has that been postponed to 2017? I sure hope you are still teaching, babe. 2RP has been fabulous! To have seen them grow and change in the 6 months I had with them has been nothing short of spectacular and wonder. Am in NIE now and as studying always do, my positivity is getting zipped out. But met some pretty good tut mates! Can’t wait to teach again (:

How’s Note 5? Surviving? iPod Touch? ASUS laptop? All alive and I hope they continue to . especially after the exploding Note 7 saga. not directly affected but still….

Have you gone back to Seoul? You were missing it so much. A home away from home. I hope you’ve been overseas at least once! Or a staycation at least. Still grounded 😦 but I went for a staycation in June ! junking up on cable TV. hehe.

How’s the family? Mum had shingles this year and is not feeling too good. It’s heartbreaking to see her like that. I hope everyone is okay and HEALTHY! Mum, Dad, Grams and the siblings! Family’s good (: 

Attached? Have you been meeting up with your friends? No and once every 6 mths or so. Haha. oh and some 烂桃花. eck.

I don’t know why I’m feeling like I will lose something in Year 28 as I’m writing this. It’s just me being paranoid. God will guide you through. You didn’t  (:

Year 29. My goodness. The big 3-0 next year. How did that happen?

Anyhoos! Remember to thank God for bringing you through another year. Hopefully Year 28 has been grace-filled, favour-filled and blessed (: And here’s hoping Year 29 is as well!

Cheers, 
Huishan