十年…你还好吗? If only I could.

It’s been a while since a local drama has…for a lack of better words, depth. More often than not, local dramas are loud, noisy and pretty standard. But the current Ch8 9pm drama, 十年…你还好吗? got me thinking.

In a nutshell, the story follows 2 female characters who had the chance to travel back 10 years in time to change their ‘fate’. They went back with their full memory, just that they are in a younger version of themselves (somehow this mattered to my brother whom I was explaining the story to).

If I could go back…

Ten years ago, I was 19. Just about to enter university and just about to put on my braces. That will be something like this.

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2006 – Council Gathering with Ling and Gayabird

When I first thought about the question, my first reaction was, “Nah. There’s nothing I want to change from my past.” That still kinda stand. Why?

Because (and my brother agrees with me), even if I could change certain things, the ending might be same but the journey might be even worse (than it has been)? Or the ending might be different but the people around will not be?

Let me explain. For example, it took me 6 years before I finally ended up teaching. Over the 6 years, the pain, the politics, the stress, the self-doubt that I went through was tough. Now that I am in teaching, I am sure that this what I want. Many of you can see that I am happier than I have been in the past 2-3 years.

If I could go back 10 years, perhaps I can just jump straight into teaching. Maybe I won’t have to suffer through all the rubbish that I went through. But things are never that simple right? I believe that if I had gone straight into teaching, I will still go through the same rubbish. Yes, I will be happier in the beginning but maybe I would have dropped out after a few years and went into the private industry? Or I would have gone through the same rubbish during my teaching career and I will end up hating teaching?

I truly believe that there is a certain amount of pain/happiness/sadness that we all have to go through in our lifetime. They help us to grow, help us to improve. Even if we were to change certain things so as to avoid them, they will find us in the end in a different form or way.

There’s something I do want to change…

I had a really bad relationship when I was around 20/21. It changed me as a person. I am not going to lie. I almost went into depression. It turned me into someone who is more reclusive and less open to trying new things. It dimmed the light in me. It brought on the OCD behaviours that I still cling to so tightly. It made me wary of relationships. It broke me.

我们用青春去交换疯狂 让日子难忘…

But do I want to change it? No and yes.

No. I do not want to change it for me. Because the experience made me stronger. The same way it broke me, it also made me an easier person to live with (according to my brother). I realised who my real friends were.

Yes. I want to change it. Because during the relationship, I wasn’t the only one who got hurt. If I were to change it, I don’t want to go into that relationship. I would rather get into another one where I am the only one who got hurt.

Water under the bridge…

There’s really no point thinking about all this though. Because like the song of the drama says…原来简单 是最美的时光.  We all grow because of our experiences and we are better because of it. Onwards to a better future! (:

Here’s another picture of myself from 2007. Yes, I used to wear make-up.

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By the way, the song of the show is awesome.

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cleaning up after myself in cafes/cinemas.

a little habit from Korea that kind of stuck with me – cleaning up after myself in cafes/cinemas.

but I realised that Singapore’s cafes/cinemas are not that equipped for this. for example, the bins are too small at cinemas. i brought the empty popcorn box and drinks with me after a movie, only to realised that the bin is full. I can’t exactly stop to put them on the floor (cos loads of people behind me) so i ended up carrying them with me till I climbed down 4 floors, out to the shopping mall and found a bin. sigh.

Or at Starbucks. I brought my tray to the ‘dustbin’, expecting to find a ‘hole’ for the leftover drinks, a ‘hole’ for the cup, a ‘hole’ for the cover and a ‘hole’ for all other thrash. Nope. Just one for every and any thing. And there’s no place for me to place the tray OR the plastic cup.

And I guess, the ‘cleaning up after one self’ is not common here too. I have been friends telling me to just leave everything and go. I’m like o.O I can feel this habit ‘draining’ out of me.

It’s a chicken-egg problem. Environment first or habit first?

the new kitty on the block.

this morning, I was happily climbing the bridge cos I was early and could possibly catch the earlier bus to work (seats!!) when I saw a cat climb precariously out to the flower bed. 

I halted and then….

“Meow meow. Don’t. Come back. It’s dangerous!” 

It turned and looked at me. I took a step forward and it shrink back, getting even closer to the edge.

“안돼요! 위해! Come back. 조심해!”

It paused. Looked at me and you can see that it’s calculating what its next steps should be. So I just stood there and waited, blabbering more random korean words at it.

Thank goodness it decided to turn back, climb back onto the bridge and ran down the steps. 

Nearly gave me a heart attack! -.- By the way, it’s a new kitty to the neighbourhood (: I am hoping it’s not newly abandoned though 😦

Wanted to snap a picture of it but I thought the sound of the camera and the action of taking out my phone might frighten it. So yeah. It’s a white cat with ginger patches. On the lean side with a fluffeh tail. 

Oh yeah. I missed my bus in the end and took the last one. Thank goodness everyone was on leave and I managed to get a seat from AMK to ORQ (:

What are you doing this weekend?

A common question. Usually used to start a conversation. I’ve even used it myself! BUT! It’s these (see below) common replies when people realised that you have nothing plan, staying at home that really irks me. I really appreciate people trying to talk to me though!

Oh yeah. I have also come up with some possible replies (in italics) I might use next time.

Option 1 – I can’t take it!

“It’s Friday! Where are you going after work?”

“Nothing much. Going home.”

“But it’s Friday! Aren’t you going to do something exciting?!”

“But it’s precisely it’s Friday that I am going home! It’s too exciting for me. I can’t take it!”

Option 2 – Return to the Terrible 2s

“So what are your plans this weekend?”

“Nothing much. Just staying home for some quiet me time.”

“But why?”

“Why why?” 

“It’s the weekend! You should do something!”

“But why?” *keeps asking why*

Option 3 – Freak them out

“What are you doing for your leave?”

“Nothing. Just catch up on sleep. Do some cleaning.”

“You should do something fun!”

“Oh. But cleaning is fun! The dusting, the wiping. That’s my favorite!” 

Option 4 – Freak them out (2)

“It’s Friday! Where are you going after work?”

“I’m going home. I have a party in my head to plan and attend.”

Option 5 – Imaginary boyfriend

“It’s Friday! Where are you going after work?”

“I’m going home to meet my Korean boyfriend, Siwon. He just flew in from Korea.”

Honestly, I think I am the ultimate conversation stopper. It’s quite bad if you take a look at it. I take a super long time to warm up to people, which is bad enough. Then when people try to talk to me, I can somehow stop the conversation.

I guess, to some extent, I just can’t be bothered don’t quite get the reasoning behind asking back the person what they’ve just asked you. Like….

“How was your weekend?” “Not too bad. And how was yours?”

I’m like *mimics head exploding* Never did. Never will seeing that I am already 27.

Come to think of it, I got to know most of my friends through working with them. Not by talking randomly or doing lunch or stuff like that *thinks* Yeah. Something  like that. We would have worked together on some things, then after that, we just kind of form a “friendship” of sort. The last time I made friends not using this “work” thing is probably back in secondary school? Woah.

But yeah. It’s okay to ask the question but the replies should be more like –

“It’s Friday! Where are you going after work?”

“Nothing much. Going home to stone.”

“Spending time with the family?/Tough week huh?/Oh! Is there any good shows on TV these days?”

Sounds better already doesn’t it? But I guess I’m just weird and tough to know since I take time to warm up. I really don’t have much of a life for a person my age. I don’t go out with my friends. I go home everyday. I stay home whenever possible. I read alot. I don’t even watch dramas! I go for Korean lessons and the occasional dance class. And that’s about it.

Hmmmm. I think I am going to try tackling the list of commonly asked questions during CNY. I’m pretty sure I can come up with show-stopping replies! Stay tuned!

 

 

this christmas.

Been increasingly hearing friends fretting over what to get for gift exchange over the past week. And I realised how relieve I am that I don’t have to do that this year cos I am unemployed *phew*

Which got me thinking…how many people actually like or even use the presents they got at gift exchange?

I mean, yes, it’s the thought that counts. But frankly, most presents are bought in a rush or at the last moment. Secret Santa is even harder!

So…instead of doing gift exchange, why not pool the money together and donate to a charity organisation instead? Think it will be more meaningful (at least for me). And I guess…more practical too!

Just put forward this suggestion to the cousins. Let’s see how it goes (:

If you have a gift exchange tradition,  why not consider this option instead?

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Been re-reading the Harry Potter series because I have some time and frankly,  year end is the perfect time to read, especially about magic! What with the weather and Christmas feelings (: favorite time of the year.

Anyway! Been gobbling up the book rather quickly this time. Abandoning shows for the books :p

Here’s a quote I like from Book 2 that I have just finished-

“It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”

Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secret

The quote comforted me somehow (:

Onwards to Book 3!

i made my own kimchi pancake! :D

I just started watching “Dad, where are we going?” recently and in Episode 6, I saw one of the kids made his own kimchi pancake!

he loves kimchi pancake!

he loves kimchi pancake!

So I went to google for kimchi pancake recipe and I realised….there’s actually pre-mixed pancake mix! Woohooo! Everything was so easy.

Went down to the Sol-mart after dance class yesterday and bought the mix and the kimchi. Pestered the mum to let me cook and…HERE WE GO!

all the ingredients I need!

Just mixed the eggs, the mix, the kimchi, water and sprinkle some salt! Pour batter into frying pan and VIOLA!

Ohyeah. I still have problems cracking an egg. My mum still go, “Harder! Scared the egg pain ah? Aiyo!” HAHAHAHA!

the end result!

Okay. Mine looks abit like omelete cos I put in too much egg. And it’s a little burnt cos I still don’t know how to flip stuff in a frying pan so too slow! But it’s not too bad for a first attempt right? (:

Gave some to the family to try and they quite like it too! Wheeeeee~ Mum said I can trying spreading the batter next time or make them into coin-size. IDEA! 😀 I still have a huge pack of the mix in the fridge. Maybe I will try again next week?

Now you can add “Kimchi pancake” to the list of food I cook! Which currently has…burnt fried eggs and burnt tofu? Opps!

P/S: didn’t stir properly when I dumped in the salt so they congregated in one slice. And I ate it -.-

Note: Recipe from http://crazykoreancooking.com/recipe/kimchi-pancake